your nervous system wasn’t built on safety
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Let’s be honest—
You say you want peace… but when someone gives it, you flinch. Withdraw. Doubt.
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Why?
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Because your nervous system was wired for chaos, not calm. It learned: Love = highs and lows Attention = unpredictability Connection = survival
Healthy love feels… unfamiliar
- No games - Clear communication - Emotional safety - Mutual respect It can feel dull to a system addicted to adrenaline.
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Your body may mistrust calm
Stillness might register as boredom. Consistency as suspicious. Softness as “too good to be true.”
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But this is a trauma response, not your truth
Your system isn’t rejecting love. It’s protecting you—from what it thinks love has always meant: pain.
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The healing work? Stay with it.
Let the calm feel awkward. Let the softness feel weird. Let safety feel… new.
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Practice receiving healthy love
- Don’t ghost when it gets real - Breathe through the “urge to run” - Name your discomfort with safe people - Learn to stay, even in silence
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Ask yourself gently:
Do I not feel chemistry—or do I just not feel anxiety?” Sometimes, love feels peaceful—not electric.
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It gets better with repetition
The more you choose calm, the more your nervous system adapts. Familiar pain fades. Peace becomes your new pattern.
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You’re not pushing away love
You’re just learning what it really is. And that kind of learning? Takes courage.
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Final Thought:
If love doesn’t give you butterflies… Maybe it’s giving you something better: Nervous system safety.
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